Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Curing The Hangover

Curing The Hangover

Over the weekend The Hangover went on to do massive box office numbers, especially for an R-rated film. 86.6 Million dollars for the flick over the holiday weekend. That beats The Simpson's box office record breaking for the same holiday take-in.

Now the number 1 complaint I have heard from everyone who has seen the film is that it rips off too much from the first film. While the first one was original in how it approached the revealing of what happened the night before, this one was the complete opposite of original.

To that I say what the fuck? Really? The first movie was amazing and hilarious, we get that. The second movie, which was exactly the same and hilarious sucks because it didn't do something different.. even though if they did do something different with it you very same people would be the first ones to bitch about how it didn't stay true to the original.

Do you not see how they literally could not win on this one? How fucking surprising it is that people bashed it.

One thing that is surprising about this film is what I found online in researching it. Namely how detailed the parental guide on IMDB actually is. It's absolutely hilarious and well worth a read, though warning it's full of spoilers Then again, if you've seen the first The Hangover, you know everything that happens in the second.

Some highlights are:
A woman leaps into a man's arms and they kiss passionately as the man lifts her up.

A man lifts up a woman and kisses her.

Men and women are seen kissing on multiple occasions.
Dear lord! Kissing?! What ever has become of our country? How dare this film taint our youth by showing a woman leaping into a man's arms and kiss passionately?! What next, a man's penis?
Two men touch a man's penis (we see a small portion of his genitals, while the rest of his body is covered by blankets): one man squeezes the man's penis and licks his hands, and we see a monkey then begin to touch, and then put his mouth on the genitals; the man throws back the blankets and stands up, his underwear pulled down to expose his genitals and bare buttocks and a man gives the nude man a lingering hug (we see the man's bare buttocks as they hug).
I don't know about you but this one kind of sold me on actually seeing it.
On two occasions women are seen wearing torso and cleavage-exposing tops while dancing suggestively on a stage and around poles in a club.
Torso and cleavage exposing tops?! My god... what the fuck, society. Then again, maybe they should mention that these characters are all Ladyboys. That would probably make people a little more rage filled about this.

But speaking of Ladyboys. Here's a pretty big one.
A man dressed as a woman and wearing a robe tells several men that he and one of the men had previously had sex, saying that he had performed a suggestive dance, and then explaining in graphic detail the account of their sexual intercourse, including describing both men climaxing; the man opens his robe to reveal his genitals and that he also has female breasts (he is wearing a cleavage-exposing bra).
You know, I think this film is getting slammed by the critics and holding on to a 35% Rotten Tomatoes rating mainly because of this. The first film was pretty raunchy while also maintaining that line of socially acceptable levels of Vegas drunken debauchery. The Hangover 2 just walks all over that line pissing and shitting along the way.

I doubt there was many people who want too much gore in their perverted sexual comedies.
A car smashes into the carcass of a pig hanging from a food stall, and the pig explodes and splatters over two men in the back of the car, covering them with blood and gore.
I mean, who doesn't want more gore in their films? How about if we have cut up body parts in this mofo? I bet that will reach comedy gold!
A man tells another man that he had found a teenage boy's finger and we see the man remove a ring from the bloody stump of a severed finger.

Three men find a teenage boy trapped inside an elevator, his hand covered with a bloody rag.
Looks like someone earned themselves some red wings... But seriously, this as well as the outnumbering amount of cock to tits you see in this film is clearly something that had to be an issue for folks.
In the first film they basically left the dude up on the roof for a day and he's completely sunburned. In this one they make the groom have anal sex, get a tattoo on his face and they leave a kid stuck in an elevator with a recently chopped off finger and when they find him, this one-time-studying to be a surgeon or a cello player doesn't give a shit about having his finger cut off because hey, he had a good time...

How no one seems to notice or care that the father's favorite in the family is now essentially out of those career paths because of some stupid knife playing one-upping on the whole sunburn on the rooftop of Cesar's Palace

I do have to admit one thing though, I really hate one aspect about these films. Everyone hating Alan. Yes, he did drug them in not one, but two instances which lead to some wild and crazy times on the streets of a strange land. But let's be honest, it wasn't Alan who pushed Stu into getting a tattoo or getting married to a Vegas stripper. Or even having sex with a ladyboy. It was Stu who did that.

The characters really should own up to their own stupidity here. Why yes, Alan did a strange thing in drugging them, but you shouldn't blame your poor choices, even if you made them under the influence on other people.

And like the first one, it's worth it to stay for the credits
We see photographs of the following: A teenage boy uses a knife to stab through his finger, and we then see the bloody severed finger being used as a prop in multiple pictures with several men, including as a man's middle finger in a crude hand gesture; the severed finger is used to help a man snort cocaine (this is implied); oral sex on a monkey is implied when a severed finger is used as the monkey's genitals, and we see a teenage boy's injured, bloody hand; men posing with a handgun, including a man holding a handgun to another man's chin and a man holding a handgun to another man's forehead (the men laugh); and a man screaming as two men tattoo him.

I just have to wonder if these guys sit through it with a pen and paper taking notes on everything that could be slightly offensive. I'm sure there's massive fights over who is correct with every detail they post.

Even if I had no interest in seeing a movie, I'm definitely going to come check out IMDB's ratings break downs because really, if others are like this it's worth reading for that alone. It's like a piece of erotic short fiction written by an autistic journalist.

Where else are you going to get a complete break down on how many curse words they said:
About 113 F-words and its derivatives, 1 obscene hand gesture, 19 sexual references, 18 scatological terms, 23 anatomical terms, 14 mild obscenities, 1 derogatory term for homosexuals, 6 racial slurs, name-calling (coward, insane, selfish, criminal, prized possession, fat, weird, jo (a bland combination of rice and warm water), grand misery, bald, dragon, worthless, rice pudding, sensitive, super star, puppy dog, bearded devil, stupid, psycho, pretty boy, thug, racist, big Jewish brain, exclamations (crud, shoot, gosh, fudge), 1 religious profanity, 24 religious exclamations.
These people have no life. I mean, hearing that from someone like me.. now that's gotta be hurtful.

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