Saturday, April 9, 2011

Let's Shut This Mother Fucking Government Down!

Let's Shut This Mother Fucking Government Down!

Is what I would be saying if we actually had a situation where the government shut down last night at Midnight, but noooooooo. Way to go, Obama. I didn't think you would cave so quickly. I figured it would be sometime this week, but here we are..

I'm really shocked over what they're planning on cutting and that's a surprise because my expectations were already damn low. How can they have gone any lower, I do not know.

It made no sense from the get go. Why no, we cannot continue funding the government... *mashes down the 'launch cruise missile' button*

Why yes, we need to secure the national security apparatus.. Man, that makes it sound like it's some kind of autonomous killing machine... which of course it is.



And here the libertarians were getting ready to party in the streets.

It was a no brainer that it wasn't going to happen. What? You think they're going to shut down the government right after they're elected to run it? It's not like this is the first time this had happened anyway. They'll just keep rolling with last year's budget as if it's business as usual.

Many of you only know of Government shut downs through the lens of shows like the West Wing. Which, may I add was an exciting episode. I sure hope Obama walks down that if road in DC and then goes on to own some Republicans just like Martin Sheen did.

That's what we need. For Martin Sheen to run for President in 2012. Then maybe his crazy alcoholic son would successfully run for President in 2020 - Winning.. that's the key to a better America.

So you're probably asking.. what exactly does happen if the Government shuts down? Good question!
Which services would stop?

During the last major shutdowns in the final days of 1995 and early 1996, the government closed 368 National Park Service sites, along with national museums and monuments.

In addition, 200,000 passport applications went unprocessed and toxic waste cleanup work at 609 sites stopped. The National Institutes of Health stopped accepting new clinical research patients and services for veterans, including health care, were curtailed.

Work on bankruptcy cases could slow. In the last shutdown, more than 3,500 cases were delayed.

Which services would the government keep running?

Agencies are allowed to perform any operations necessary for the safety of human life and protection of property.

The government would keep essential services -- such as air traffic control and the national security apparatus -- in full operating mode.

Federal workers who provide medical care on the job would be kept on, as would employees who handle hazardous waste, inspect food, patrol the borders, protect federal property, guard inmates or work in power distribution.

Workers who protect essential elements of the money and banking system would also report to work.

The Postal Service, which is self-funded, will continue to operate.

How many federal workers would be furloughed?

The government went dark twice during the Clinton administration: Some 800,000 workers were sent home during the first shutdown and 284,000 were sent home during the later shutdown.
So pretty much nothing. Some national parks close down.

If the shut down happened for any amount of time we would have had to cancel National Parks Week. Which would have been so ironically comical. But it leads to a good question - How the hell do yo shutdown a national park anyway? At best you're just going to put up a road block in the driveway.

Which it seems is all to it. The ranger lowers an impenetrable wooden beam across the parking lot entrance and declares that THIS PARK IS HEREBY CLOSED-OSED-OSED-OSED *flips window sign to "closed", gets in Jetta and drives home*

It sure must be nice to be a park ranger. Living in a trailer in a national park sounds really peaceful. But yeah, it seems like just national parks and passport issuers would be majorly effected by this.

The unemployed? The homeless? You fuckers all better not even think about going to the national parks for shelter cause these fuckers are mother fucking CLOSED, Bitches!

Though I guess there's bigger impacts. Such as the Government shutdown disrupting student loans.
The federal government’s has an arms length role in education, so the overall impact of a federal shutdown on schools will be limited. One exception, Michele McNeil explains, has to do with student loans:

In addition, the department said today that although most student federal aid programs would not be impacted by a shutdown, colleges and universities would not be able to draw down and disburse to students any campus-based program awards, such as work-study or the Federal Perkins Loan Program. The impact on the $951 million work-study program would affect about 590,000 students in approximately 3,400 participating institutions. Perkins affects about 673,000 students in some 1,600 participating institutions.

A lot of people seem to have a hazy sense that “the government” is something that has nothing to do with their lives, but if House Republicans prove unwilling to back down on some of these policy riders a bunch of folks are about to find out otherwise.http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/2...-student-loans/

Basically in all this, the good services will stop and the bad ones will keep going. Like paying the armed forces, for example. They're already making shit up like this image, if it can tell you anything about the mindset and fear of having a potential government shut down...



I certainly hope that they mean "protect the country" but chances are they probably mean "murder people". But hey, at least the truth comes out in all of it. It's about time they declared themselves for what they are, hired mercenaries willing to kill anyone for a pay check.

If you can't stand behind the troops, feel free to stand in front of them... CONGRESS! I'm pretty sure that the American people are so fucking sick of republicans and democrats both by this point that they would welcome a military coup with open arms.

I did have to laugh on how Fox News was portraying the situation last night, as if they were painting a narrative that it's not a big deal. Who needs the government anyway, right? It didn't matter that those folks who are living paycheck to paycheck get fucked over because the Government potentially shut down.

So I guess it wasn't a big surprise that Boehner and Obama announced a deal where the likes of which planned parenthood got funded in exchange for the liquidation of the food stamps program or something else amazingly horrible.

This morning I do wish that a government shut down happened for the sole reason that it would further show that both parties are beyond fucked and it would have been nice to be free of that tyranny for at least a couple of hours.

I bet you're wondering what had to happen in order to dodge that bullet. Well, here you go.
Numerous GOP and Democratic sources on and off Capitol Hill tell National Journal the outline of the deal is as follows: up to $39 billion in cuts from the 2010 budget, $514 billion for the defense budget covering the remainder of this fiscal year, a GOP agreement to abandon controversial policy riders dealing with Planned Parenthood and the EPA, and an agreement to pass a “bridge” continuing resolution tonight to keep the government operating while the deal is written in bill form

Oh man. That sure was close. I'm glad that whole shutdown thing was averted just in time and it only cost the democrats $39 billions in cuts..

8:39 p.m. ET - From CNN Congressional Producer Deirdre Walsh: GOP leaders sent an email to all House Republicans Friday that said, "We would like to clear up some confusion and relay that there has not yet been a deal reached. The negotiations are ongoing."

House Republican leaders are meeting now in Speaker John Boehner's office.


So what did end up happening? Who the fuck knows anymore. All I do know is that we're cutting a shit ton of programs for the poor because republicans have made people believe there's literally an empty vault under the capitol.

Who actually gives a shit anymore about any of this. The country is a train with the throttle set to over drive. People want to postpone the inevitable by holding makeshift crisis plans and trying to slow it down by pointless attempts. Instead we should encourage the complete and utter collapse of the united states. We should accelerate its perilous self destruction so from out of the ashes humanity may be reborn anew, in the vision of the people's will with virtues of strength, family and community held in the highest regard. Never looking back to the days when we praised sloth, gluttony and greed.

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