Why Hello, Mister Speaker of the Waaaaaaaaaa...

Why Hello, Mister Speaker of the Waaaaaaaaaa...

My god, have you've seen the new speaker of the house? What a fucking cry baby. I mean, seriously, I haven't seen someone cry this much since I saw the last pixar film.



Watch those three videos. You'll notice that in the second two, it's the same string of words and the same crying going on. Why I noticed these things, maybe I just don't like to see a grown man cry. Either that or I'm annoyed with the whole 9/11 cry fest.

It's pretty clear that his staff gave him crying lessons. Tons of research indicates that the republicans are seen as unemotional and calculating, so I wouldn't put it past them to resort to strategic crying.

I guess you can take it as a whole conservative weeping as a meta-narrative response to there being a black man in charge. So you can't blame it if a strong man can cry. Though, I'm guessing it has more to do with the fact that he's probably terrified on what to do and crying is the first thing that came to mind.

Or maybe he's just allergic to honesty. Then again, which politician isn't? Rim shot! If you squeeze an orange, does it not cry juice? So it shouldn't be any different with this guy.

It can't be that he actually believes the narrative that he's spewing out and isn't a bad person on purpose, right? Perhaps he just has a thyroid problem and we should all lay off the guy.

I mean, I shouldn't judge because I'm such a big baby myself, but you'd think that the guy would man up since he's in such a position of power. It's like in that Sopranos episode where the local boss cries when he's arrested at his daughter's wedding, and then no one respects him because he was balling his eyes out.

All that I'm saying is that an Alpha-reagan-male would never cry because he actually was coached for years to be a good actor. Way to lead us into the future, asshole. It's hard to be a speaker of the house when all that comes out of your mouth is Waaaaaaaah.