Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Jackassgate

Jackassgate

I know, I know. How unlike me, what on my ivory tower above it all am I doing yet another blog post about Kanye's stupidity? Cause it just got political.. oooooh yeah! Let's get stupid with the TMZ!



And if you can't see the video, here's a link to the transcript.

Did you hear that? How DARE the PRESIDENT be using such crass language!? Didn't he just talk to the children of America (Oh, don't worry. I had my little billy pulled out of class that day so he wouldn't hear such socialist propaganda!

We should impeach this socialist NOW! I do not utter profanity and I expect the same of whatever Negro is posing as my president! He drinks bud lite. He watches the Video Music Awards. WHY, the fuck is he watching the video music awards?!?! Honestly I am disappointed. I voted for an Ivory-tower elitist white-hating socialist and here he is watching MTV.



I sure can't wait till the press ask him what he thinks about Spencer and Heidi. It has to be a pressing issue after all. Fuck health care, let's talk about what Pink wore and how it affects the white collar worker.

Though this is pretty funny when you think about it. The choice between supporting Obama or Kanye West is conservatism's own "Falling cat with buttered toast attached to its back" sort of thing. There's no way it could land on either of side and feel morally correct. Which pony do they back up in this race?



It just goes to show you how shitty our media outlets are these days. The press would never talk about how JFK fucked around behind Jackie's back or Eleanor Roosevelt's promiscuity. I'm sure that if ABC shut down its news division, no one would care.

But then again, This just shows that Obama is one of us. They claimed that Bush won that second term because he was someone the voters felt they could have a beer with. Someone they can hang out with. What's better? Someone to have a beer with or someone to watch and make fun of MTV with? Ok, how about we just get back to health care? I mean, don't you see those guys in that Jackass show? They sure can use the universal health care already. I bet that's why we haven't had a new season of that in a while.



I'm seeing two reasons why Obama cares about this issue. Taylor Swift is also sexy as hell but I don't want to have sex with her because if we were ever in that kind of situation, that might ruin our friendship and frankly, she seems like a really cool person to be friends with and I want to hang on to that.. Taylor Swift, if you're reading.. Let's be friends.

As to not to be outdone on being the one to have a beer with, it's being revealed what Bush thinks about all these Political players in the field right now in this soon to be released book:
Former Bush speechwriter Matt Latimer has a new book coming out that promises to disclose what administration officials were saying behind the scenes. Not surprisingly, there’s a “growing nervousness” about the book amongst many prominent conservatives. GQ has some new excerpts of Latimer’s book, which reveal that President Bush liked to mock other politicians:

On Sarah Palin: “‘I’m trying to remember if I’ve met her before. I’m sure I must have.’ His eyes twinkled, then he asked, ‘What is she, the governor of Guam?‘ … ‘This woman is being put into a position she is not even remotely prepared for,’ he said. ‘She hasn’t spent one day on the national level. Neither has her family. Let’s wait and see how she looks five days out.’”

On Barack Obama: “He came in one day to rehearse a speech, fuming. ‘This is a dangerous world,’ he said for no apparent reason, ‘and this cat [Obama] isn’t remotely qualified to handle it. This guy has no clue, I promise you.’”

On Hillary Clinton: “Wait till her fat keister is sitting at this desk.

On Joe Biden: “If bull– was currency, Joe Biden would be a billionaire.”

In 2008, Bush also told Latimer to take out a reference to the “conservative movement” in a speech. “Let me tell you something,” the President said. “I whupped Gary Bauer’s ass in 2000. So take out all this movement stuff. There is no movement.” When Latimer was “perplexed,” Bush explained, “Look, I know this probably sounds arrogant to say,” the president said, “but I redefined the Republican Party.”
Ha. So Bush said that Hillary has a "Fatass". This whole Jackassgate is getting blown wide open today! In reality, it's not just today, it's been the enitre week. From Joe Wilson's "YOU LIE!" to Serena Williams being a total bitch and then to Kanye acting 'da fool', it's been an entire seven days of being a total douche bag. At least it's only another 12 hours till this week is over and we can move past the whole Douchebag Week ceremonies.

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