Friday, October 31, 2008

This Is Halloween!

This Is Halloween!

Well kiddies, it's the day of the year when you get to beg and plead for free treats from random strangers even though you're told every other day of the year to not take anything from them in fear that they are sex offenders. Live it up. Then again, Halloween is no longer for kids only.

Maybe I'm just getting old...

Back when Elvira, mistress of the revealing costumes, started hocking cold ones to a nation of drunk 80's people it got the ball rolling for something sinister, something different in the direction that Halloween had gone prior to that. No more great pumpkin, Charlie brown. It has become a day to party it up in nearly nothing and not be called a slut for having it all hang out.

"sexy" women's Halloween costumes are another horrifying example of the merger of corporate capitalism and patriarchal society and their powerful grasp on holidays which are meant to be a time of equal enjoyment for all parties. But perhaps it's the supply side economics saying that the only costumes they make are sexy whatever costumes so if a girl just wants to run down to bob's costume emporium that is all they have and if she doesn't make the effort to make her own she is stuck with those half naked ones.

Perhaps the attention that comes with it helps. I saw a dude dressed up as han solo in carbonite and his girlfriend was dressed up as slave leia and she was pretty pissed that everyone was more interested in his costume.

Another issue is that Some girls can pull short shorts off and some can't pull a sheet over the body. You really have to be careful when you walk that line. A lot of times it just ends up looking like a huge muffin top over flowing monster out of whatever "Sexy" costume that once was on the rack.

Now let me get one thing straight. Sexy isn't wrong. Far from it. Ladies, feel free to be sexy on the other days if you want, it's ok. I'm not sure if the mentality is that guys wont go to parties unless their's hot chicks in revealing clothing there? As if the normal party attire isn't enough, on the one day you are allowed to wear whatever you want, you just spice up that costume with a little bit of nothing to be had under it.

Well this is scary

Maybe it's just super empowering to wear a short skirt and fishnets and be objectified even more than usual and have drunk dudes refer you to by your costume instead of your name. Generally guy's costumes say one of two things

1) check how cool i look as a cop/soldier/batman/whatever

I knew a guy in high school who would dress up like a woman whenever there was some kind of event that made it socially acceptable for a guy to dress up like a woman. every single time. Maybe he was just afraid to come out. Who knows. But the point is that the inner exhibitants come out in full force on Halloween.

Don't cross the streams!

Then again, if we gloss over the slutty wear we get over to the dark side of the Holiday, the hard religious right. You know the type. They want to change Halloween to something different because they are afraid that it has too much in common with satanic or witchcraft related items. I heard one school board wanted to even change it to "Black and Orange day", which makes even less sense than I care to think about.

In all, Halloween is a fun time when anyone can attempt to be anything and not be judged for it. If your inner desire is to not get dressed and show it all off, well, more power to you. If your goal is to conform others to your jaded view point on what a Holiday should be, then well... I only hope you get candy corn and dental floss in your goodie bag.

This little Halloween lover may be
the President one day

I'd ask for one thing out of this new national dress like a slut day, don't have fun at the expense of the little ones. I saw a lot of kids just walking around with their cute costumes of Superman, fairies, witches and other such things and I see that today should be about them first. Let's take it a step back before the Mistress of the dark days. Sure, have fun and all that. But if you see a kid asking for candy, be a pal and help them out. In this PC world where we scare our kids into believing anyone they don't know wants to rape and kill them, how many chances does a kid have to get candy for dressing up in something they look up to? It'll shape the way they see this wonderful holiday and I want as few tainted from today as possible.

Thursday, October 30, 2008



I recently went on the record and announced that I wanted my ObamaTV. I should remind you that long before pseudo-reality tv filled the air of MTV, there was actual music on the air and they carried the whole tag line of people craving for their MTV. Every so often when the stars align and the moon hits just the right peak over the rockies, you'll see MTV play some music videos. But for the everyday music fix you've been turning to Youtube. Since Viacom is a law suit happy corporation, most videos are often pulled down before you can enjoy them to the fullest.

What does the M stand for these days? Mundane?

MTV has done something that I thought would not happen again. They've turn cool again. While not deviating from the format of showing crap, crap and more crap, they have allowed us, harnessing with the awesome mighty power of the internet, to check out music videos that they've shown for free! I'd gladly take the days of Jenny McCarthy over the current MTV we have going.

Back then I thought this was the worse MTV can do..
I was wrong

By clicking your clicker here, you'll be lead to mtv music, which will grant you all sorts of magic powers to avoid the hills, date my mom, Mtv's Why am I watching Mtv, Parental control, Cribs, generic reality show and any other non-music video show on a network called Music TV...

Forgotten favorites and classic's like Land of Confusion, Walk This Way, a whole stack of Weird Al, Hot for Teacher, and Puttin' On The Ritz. are at your finger tips now.

Not surprisingly, the Rick Roll is currently number two top-rated. Might I give you, the internet, a big middle finger for ruining yet another thing I found funny. That was till every April fools prank done outside of April links to. So forget this service for the popular titles you'd see on every internet meme.

For those who remember a those lesser known classic, you can find them. Hell, I even found 80's Crazy looking Tori Amos. Who I haven't seen a good quality video for in years. Be honest with me, have you ever even seen the King Missile video for detachable penis? Yeah, that's what I thought. Doug the Slug would be proud of me. Money for nothing is the most viewed. Damn right.

Tori Amos.. Crazy then... just as crazy now... Crazy Hot!

In the long run, we may never see the full episodes of Beavis and Butthead in their true form with all the videos still in there. But thanks to, we can at least be Beavis and Butthead from the comforts of our own home. Though I do think my favorite was when they mocked this classic punk rock female inspired song. I mean, Ween is way too easy to mock.

Best of all, they have POP UP VIDEO! How do I know this? Cause I searched for Jewel's Who Will Save Your Soul, which was one video, among others by Jewel that had a different meaning in terms of popping up. ZING! Oh yeah, here it is without the stupid pop up. I dare anyone to listen to this and not be a little... teared up..

Can you blame me for crushin' on her?

But there's other classics that todays youth wouldn't ever know, like this little number about three little pigs that everyone should see. The fact that they have Purple Haze makes up for any video they don't have. Who can forget some Toni Basil's Mickey.. cause he's so fine.. he's so fine he blows my mind... Even if you don't enjoy campy music and no matter what isn't on there(Beastie Boys - Sabotage) this is probably the best music related thing MTV has done in decades. Even if they have to censor out the hash in the hash pipe by Weezer

Now if only they got the old Jon Stewart show up somewhere.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

If You Ain't Like Me, Go Hang From A Tree

If You Ain't Like Me, Go Hang From A Tree

Hang on here because what I'm about to say is going to leave you off your feet and I'm sure I'll make you dangle. But there has been a sudden rush in the amount of hangings going on.

Recently a West Hollywood resident put up a hanging Sarah Palin. This caused many to scream that it was a hate crime, which later turned to an outrage having crowds of protesters trying to block the effigy from being viewed by putting up blankets in front of it. The residents defense of course is that he has the right of free speech.

Even the definition of Effigy is a ridicules representation of someone used to point out
1.a representation or image, esp. sculptured, as on a monument.
2.a crude representation of someone disliked, used for purposes of ridicule.
Looks pretty clear cut from that. It goes back before our nation was ever founded and it's not with the intent of a hate crime or a threat. It's expressing your dislikes of someone's beliefs. So taking it away would be taking away freedom of speech and expression.

Hell, even the secret service was saying that the silly doll in a Neiman Marcus coat dress was not treating this as anything other than boys being boys according to Special Agent Wayne Williams. So this isn't an issue with the feds, but the local law is not singing the same tune. They want the effigy taken down and it looks like the resident will do what the city wants for the greater good. It's their first amendment right too express themselves. But much the same, you have the right to go outside and yell at people. It wont make you any friends to do that.

I bet it's going to come as no surprise that the McCain supporters responded in kind by doing their own hanging effigy for Obama. . . . Yeah. This is going to come as a surprise to some people, but a hanging black man is not something that people want to see. Something about race tension because of previous years of segregation and actual hate crimes.

This is going to shock you, but I think the Obama version, while touching the subject of race, is just as legal. So please, don't call the race card on this. It's your first amendment at work and unlike other rights we gave up after 9/11, I really don't want to lose anymore rights. The terrorist already called check, don't let them call check mate. The important thing to know here is that just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Again, just because you have the freedom
to say it, doesn't mean you should...

I lived in the South for a good year. I drove past "KKK BBQ THIS SATURDAY!" signs. As a minority, this made me sweat a little, but in all truths, this is not that. This isn't the racism that occurred for the greater part of American history. This is touching on hanging effigies of that from France when they beheaded and demanded change.

A burning or hanging effigy simply signifies that they disagree with the policies of the effigy. It's a form of protest. It's not the same as when racist got African Americans and hung them. To claim that they're the same is... well, it's demeaning to the suffering that all those who were victims of real hate crimes. It's a different meaning altogether.

I'm convinced it's the red pickup truck that
totally makes it... though yes, they'd be hosting
a clan BBBQ sometime soon...

If anything will come from this, it'll be that Chad Michael Morrisette, a professional window display designer, was seeking attention and got it by hanging a doll up with a Palin style dress. People will praise him, some will hate him. He gets his 15 minutes of fame and he gets put on an FBI watch list.

This one takes it a bit far...

So now the real question is should we have the right to this sort of freedom of speech? I say yes. It's really not up for question. Our nation was founded on the ability to say whatever you want. No matter if it ranged from logical and constructive to a better society to just about insane gibberish. The difference, and the line once crossed is when your freedom of speech crosses over to the point where it becomes a threat. Ol' Redondo Beach crazy up there with all the blood and what not.. that may be taking the effigy a bit far. So far that even McCain supporters were begging her to take it down. Who wouldn't? A knife sticking out of his neck? Yeah.. if the hanging him wasn't enough...

Don't take away our rights. We've had too many of them stripped from us in an effort to protect us from terror. We're only creating a situation where we're more terrified by how little we can actually do in this free country. It's your given right as an American to express yourself, including your distaste for someone's political views. But just because you have the right to do something, doesn't mean you should.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I Want My ObamaTV 2.0

I Want My ObamaTV 2.0

So we're one day away from ObamaTV rocketing on to our television screens and we're still a bit in the dark as to what he's actually going to do with his air time besides Pointless guesses. But I'm the type of person who will continue shooting in the dark in hopes at hitting something. So here's some more guesses as to what the Senator will be using for his on air talents. I know one thing for sure, it's not the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, cause that shit aired tonight and well, you already missed it.

An in-depth discussion on the merits of the Magic Bullet and how it will save our economy.

Testimonial on how ExtenZe has changed his life and how it could give you and your special someone a better President.

Hang out at an unspecified location in Phoenix AZ sipping whiskey, smoking a cigar, and talking about how much he wishes Barry Goldwater were still alive.

talk about all his campaign money - "And this $20 bill was donated by Richard Hernandez of Chula Vista, CA!"

Comparing the number of bouts with face cancer that he and McCain have each had to deal with.

concedes to mccain, reasoning "democrats aren't meant to win elections"

Rap Battle with Orrin Hatch.

30 minutes of rolling around in money

Obama represented on the boob tube....

Obama and Shaq playing hoop to the tunes of Quad City DJ's "Space Jam" against Putin and Karl Rove.

speaks about his christian faith at length while he has his fingers crossed

drops out of the campaign, nominating Oprah as his replacement. AS WAS THE DEAL.

airs footage from "who's nailin palin"

But then America gains a President...

He'll be sitting in a nice comfy chair next to a fireplace and start reading children's books to us. No I do not want green eggs and ham....

Thirty minute lecture on superstring theory

Shows footage from the ring causing us all to be cursed.

Reveals himself to be Andy Kaufman

Look at that smooooth mother fu....

First 30 mins of soul plane

The last 30 minutes of 2001

Just loops of McCain stumbling and acting like an idiot set to Yakety Sax.

Re-enactment of muhammad ali v. sonny liston, with obama standing over a mccain impersonator shouting GET UP, GET UP

On NBC, Obama will discuss a few tips on fitness, and even give share the secret of his jumpshot.

On CBS, Michelle will host a cooking show, where she will teach America some of her favorite home recipes. Sasha and Malia assist.

On Fox, Biden will offer his pre-game analysis for Phillies-Rays game, with a brief rundown on sports the rest of the week.

30 minute in-depth revelation of the wu tang secret

30 minute video let's play of Obama beating street fighter ii as dhalsim

Drama set two years into the Mccain presidency, will smith plays one of the few survivors

An old tape of Bob Ross painting. digitally edited to make him paint a serene obama figure in the American countryside.

Season 1 episode 4 of the Ferris Bueller TV show

Well, that's one way to lock up the East L.A. vote

Obama stars in an episode of mtv cribs

A new episode of Sports Night, after a mere eight years or so of languishing in obscurity?

Barack Obama halloween special

Re-enact debates using finger puppets and squeaky voices

No matter it is, Obama has some tough competition. Game five of the world series is in need of wrapping up after a long rain delay that lasted two days. Not to mention that Obama has some heavy shoes to fill when it comes to political infomercials.